


Don't Stop Gleein'

by ussdawntreader



Category: Glee/Twilight
Genre: Crack, Ficmix, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-07
Updated: 2009-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussdawntreader/pseuds/ussdawntreader
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Birthdays are rapidly becoming an excuse to let my crack bunnies out of their brain cage.  Hi ZEE!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON.  It's highly imperative that you dl the mix and listen to it because YOU NEED THE SONGS.  They add to the crack.  K?  COOL.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Don't Stop Gleein'

**Author's Note:**

> Birthdays are rapidly becoming an excuse to let my crack bunnies out of their brain cage. Hi ZEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON. It's highly imperative that you dl the mix and listen to it because YOU NEED THE SONGS. They add to the crack. K? COOL.

 

 **one.** Cobra Starship - The World Has A Shine To It (But I Would Drop It On A Dime)

Carlisle Cullen had two great passions in this world: his gorgeous wife, Esme, and Glee Club. Neither of his passions in any way involved Spanish, which he taught at the local high school, or his best friend, Charlie Swan.

For Charlie, being friends with Carlisle was the only thing that made Forks High School even remotely bearable. If the students thought it was hell, for the teachers it was even worse. There were days when he felt that if he had to prescribe a brighter lamp for one more overly-hormonal teenager in the Chastity Club for SAD...

He never lets himself finish that thought. Because that might involve leaving Forks (possibly even the _universe_ ). And Carlisle Cullen.

Forever.

 **two.** Taylor Swift - American Girl

_I know I'm the most beautiful girl in school. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not more popular. I mean, isn't that usually how it goes? The most beautiful girl with the most talent is beloved by everyone and made queen of this stupid place?_

_But then I remember: I'm Rosalie Hale. I don't have to be popular. I just need to win._

**three.** Tristan Prettyman - Toxic

NEWS FLASH: Esme Cullen is the devil incarnate.

The coach of the cheerleading squad, she managed to make the dubious "sport/art" not only respectable but _lucrative_. The only cost was her soul, and to be honest, she didn't have much of one to begin with.

Her husband, of course, was completely unaware of this. To him, she was the most dazzling creature in the universe. On alternating Wednesdays and Saturdays, the moon even shone out of her ass.

Her reaction when he asked if she could spare a few members of her squad for Glee Club should have indicated her true nature (you know...EVIL).

But it didn't. The sound of that shriek/sob/roar that would haunt the ears of every poor soul on campus that day was but a delicate whimper to Carlisle's ear. But he began to realise that if he wanted to get what he wanted, he'd have to engage the subtlest of subterfuges.

And that is when he (re)met Laurent.

 **four.** Does It Offend You Yeah - Attack Of The 60 Ft. Lesbian Octopus

It's not a huge deal that Edward Cullen is bullied by the football team. EVERY DAY.

It's not a big deal that this is the fourth time this month they've thrown him in the dumpster, thereby ruining yet another perfectly coordinated outfit. It beats being duct taped against the wall of the showers. He knows this from experience.

He hoists himself out of the Dumpster, takes out his rhinestone-encrusted pocket mirror and checks his hair.

Sometimes it's hard being the most fabulous girl in school.

 **tell me that you love me more.** The Gay Blades - Compliments Can Kill

Bella checks her chestnut hair in the mirror. Gorgeous, as expected.

She's almost about to leave the washroom but she turns and delivers a well-timed zinger to that heinous tranny putting on her face. Much more satisfying than leaving anonymous comments on her youtube channel (rosaliehalesgottalent, if you're interested).

When she exits, that creepy but well-coordinated kid is staring at her. Longingly. She smirks at him, just before her boyfriend sweeps her up into a kiss (careful with the tongue!). Hand in hand, they head to class.

Really, who said it was hard being the most fabulous girl in school?

 **six.** David Bowie - Imagine

Maybe blackmailing Emmett, the school's star quarterback, into joining Glee wasn't his finest moment. Or smartest idea. The kid looks sort of miserable and Coach Black is _pissed_. But what else could he do?

Glee _needed_ Emmett. His amazing voice entwines so perfectly with Rosalie's that to listen was to experience the best sort of aurgasm. Their chemistry is perfect. The rest of the club embraced him (after he apologised to Edward for the strictly-enforced weekly Dumpster dive).

It was really only a matter of time before they were the best. Better than the cheerleaders, better than the football team. Currently they were about on par with the table tennis team, and Carlisle isn't really sure they even have one. But with Emmett and Rosalie? It wouldn't be too long until Glee Club was what Forks High School was known for.

And that prospect made Carlisle -- well...a little gleeful.

 **seven.** Amely - The Climb

[DON'T STOP ZIIIIPPIN OOH OOAAAAAAAAAAA](http://www.mediafire.com/?em0d2wbynjo)


End file.
